we no longer speak the same language, our mouths twisted with all the things we silently bury. non-communicated thoughts piled atop one another, building this impenetrable fortress between us.
pregnant with resentment, we birth hate. delivering only below-waist verbal blows or snarky remarks until exhausted. spent from trying to convince coitus to connect us to a higher plane. one where we can stand one another, where our friendship isn’t shattered, broken.
never again platonic.
i’m france and you’re germany. or def poetry and shakespeare. soca and calypso. somehow spiritually connected, rooted to one another, yet standing on opposite sides of a silent war.
where was once delicate love in bloom is now ravaged with passive aggression, stifled forgiveness… or eventually someone else.
in this moment, we’re both unbound. breathing in the excitement of new chapters, unbothered by things we never said. pages flipped, new words
now there’s beauty between us
and solace in our radio silence.
my birthday came faster than i had the time to prepare for honestly. for some that’s a good thing, but for a glutton of punishment like myself, i’ve spent the last few days rifling through the file cabinets of my memory to prove the first 25 years of my life were dope enough; that they mattered.
did i do enough?
am i where i’m supposed to be in life?
did i love enough?
if i left the world today, did i leave a mark?
was i kind, compassion and open?
self-examination is extremely important to me. several years flew by and i was merely moving, not really living ya know? so i’m obsessed with capturing what is and what was. so for the six days leading up to 26 (last year i’m counting my age, btw), i’ve decided to give you my stories. stripped down version of six, in my opinion, pillars of my life (not the character counts crap either); the tales, well, real experiences that have landed me right where i am and molded me into the person you see today…. and maybe who i’ll become.